I also see in feminism a similar paradox to those of the post-structuralists: if language is male constructed, yet it must be used in order to communicate, then the domination succeeds. It has put the female sex into a bind that we cannot escape from...If language is male constructed. However, I think that this argument over language is trivial. We can only be dominated by language if we choose to be. Those male writers with their strangle hold on language can sit back in their chairs and laugh as the "fairer sex" uses their own clubs to beat them with (phallic symbolism notwithstanding).
I think that the real argument here, though, is how women are perceived by men and women, both in how they are written as characters and how they are seen by other characters (the male gaze?). It might also be wise to take an androcentric approach. How do men see themselves? And how does that sense of manliness, or lack thereof, make them react toward women?
Side note: I was in Chili's the other day having dinner with my sister. We sat at the bar because it would, otherwise, have been a twenty minute wait. This bartender (who looked like he had just cut his first tooth) came up and said, "So, what would you girls like to drink?" My first impulse was to slug him. I have no idea what his intent was in calling us girls. He may have meant it very innocently, but--to me--it was tantamount to a white man calling a black man "boy." It shows a complete and utter lack of respect, and it shows a sort of "natural" chauvinism that tends to be bred into men. When I worked for the airlines, we were always called "girls." Even the flight attendants who were older than fifty (or older than the pilots) were "girls." So, yes, semantics, but this is language that can be identified and, hopefully, avoided.
According to Barry, men and women are both slaves to sexism. So, wouldn't it benefit everyone if we just cut it out? I think that feminist theory, even as more of the kinks are worked out, is a valuable instrument to do so.
I think we are too close to the problem to "cut it out." We think and react in conditioned ways, which, at our age, we can't change, we can only mitigate.
ReplyDeleteThe only hope we have as a society is to purposely (and purposefully)change our approach to educating our children so they won't we conditioned as we are.
According to bell hooks it is the very act of focusing on academic language that makes us forget feminism is a political discussion - she calls it the "depolitization" of feminism (22) - if we forget it is political, we forget we can attempt to change circumstances.
We may not be able to avoid the use of "male constructed" language, but we can be more thoughtful about how we use it as a society - realizing that every choice is political and has a consequence.
Linda Daly
ReplyDeleteI agree that feminism is a fight about language, perceptions, habits, etc., but ultimately it is a fight about identity and claiming it.
Emily, I am curious if it had been a female bartender who asked the exact same question, would you have reacted the same way? What if it had been a female bartender who was in your mother's age group? I have to admit that I sometimes refer to women (young and old) as girls. I have not had anyone get offended (as far as I know) about it. The young man who was bartending at Chili's might have been trying to flatter you two by calling you "girls". After all, age-ism is alive and well, and implying that a woman looks young is as good as saying she has lost weight. Or maybe it's not age-ism at all, but looks-ism. Ultimately, it's all classism, I think, because women with resources can look young, thin, and beautiful for a long time.
ReplyDeleteThe young male bartender was basically confronting me with the sexism and age-ism that I have been confronted with for the greater part of my life. If you want to see how inferior being a woman (or girl) is to being a man, try having three older brothers who clearly have different rights, responsibilities and measures of worth than you do. And perhaps you have. Try working for an airline for two years and being confronted with just about every form of sexism there is.
ReplyDeleteWe've all felt sexism in one fashion or another and to wish it away or explain it away does not change the fact that being called a girl does not flatter a woman who is self-aware, and certainly not two women in their late twenties. I was a girl, for many years. Was being the key word. I am willing to take into consideration language conditions. Women and men from the south call everyone, up to little old grannies, girls. They also call men of any age boys. And yet, if I had called that bartender a boy, what would have been his reaction?
I find myself saying "girl" a lot
ReplyDeleteI don't mean it disrespectfully
yet I catch myself wishing I wouldn't say it
so much
it's really a trip to consider how much of this type of thing occurs with out us ever being aware
it's all so hard to get away from once your conscious is opened up the history of human rights stuggles
much of which begins in the institution
that is the partnership between man and woman
"We can only be dominated by language if we choose to be." I couldn't agree more. Although in fairness it would have to be phrased, "Once made aware of the impact of language we can only be dominated by language if we choose to be" to stand alone as I place it here.
ReplyDelete